Jacqueline Sherman

JACKIE SHERMAN

CELEBRATION OF LIFE

NOVEMBER 19

12:00pm (noon) - Arrival

1:00pm - Lunch

2:00pm - Celebration of Life Ceremony In Honor of Jackie

NOTE: Our park gathering space is reserved until 5:00pm for those who want to stay after the ceremony and catch up with others.

LOCATION:

LAGUNA NIGUEL REGIONAL PARK

Shelter #7

28241 La Paz Rd

California, 92677

Hi All,

We will be gathering to celebrate Jackie’s life, swap stories, laugh, reconnect, and probably cry a little. I’ll be right at the head of the line for that.

We will have food and drinks (non alcoholic). We will have Ceremony. It’s a lovely way to remember, honor, and say goodbye to Jackie with the affection and support of others who love her.

The venue is a beautiful regional park with grass, trees, lakes, and smarty pants geese. It has large shelters with picnic benches, water, and electricity. We rented the shelter (#7) to insure we have shade, protection from rain (Ha!), and to provide a natural gathering/serving space. There is plenty of parking, easy access, and lots of grass around it to spread out. If it’s convenient, bring a picnic type blanket to have a place to gather and relax as an alternative to a picnic bench. Bathrooms are close by.

There is a $5 fee to get in the park EACH time you enter, so I’d plan it so only have to enter the park once, if possible.

We love, honor, and look forward to seeing you then.

OBITUARY:

We are celebrating the life of Jaqueline Sherman (79) who passed away at home in Laguna Niguel California on July 31, 2022. She passed due to complications following pneumonia. She was surrounded by her family: Husband Derek Voien, Daughters Gigi Goochey and Suzanne Farner, 2 of her grandsons-Aidan Marvick, and Jackson Farner, along with her son inlaw Rohn Marvick. She is survived by those above and her sisters- Suzanne Hard, Giglia Sherman, and Kathy Sherman, and brother Micheal Mikitka, grandchildren- Ryan Marvick and Mitchell Farner and brothers Jimmy, Billy, and Bobby Sherman. Along with several nieces and nephews., Born in LaMars, Iowa. Graduate of UCI and Pepperdine University where she received her Masters in Marriage Family and Child Counseling (MFCC). She was a lifelong advocate for women and a coveted Family Therapist.

*** A celebration of life will be held at La Paz park, California on November 19th, 2022 at noon.***

ONLINE EULOGY:

Jackie’s heart was full of compassion. She laughed, had fun, made friends easily, brought people together, and loved her daughters above all else.

She grew up around Le Mars, Iowa (Blue Bunny Ice Cream capital), then went to school in Garden Grove. Jackie had a childhood that was unsupportive. She, and her sister Suzanne, vowed to raise their children differently, putting them first, supporting them, and making sure they knew they were loved. The remarkable people that Jackie’s, and her sister’s, children turned out to be is proof that they succeeded.

Jackie was a feminist, and an advocate for women, particularly those who suffered personal wounds. She worked at the Rape Crisis Network, a non profit, helping women who had been sexually assaulted find the help and resources they needed. At U.C.I., she ran the R.P.E.P. (Rape Prevention and Education Program) which was an outreach and education program. She studied and received her Bachelors of Art History at U.C.I., then a Masters in Psychology from Pepperdine University. She got her license as an MFCC (Marriage Family Child Counselor) so that she could be a therapist helping women, one on one, recover emotionally from sexual assault trauma. Her empathy and insight helped her to bond with her clients in a way that made them feel heard, understood, and safe. She was constantly developing new tools to improve her skills as a healer. She went on to include family and couples therapy.

What did Jackie love?
-First, her daughters, Gigi and Suzanne, and our grandsons, Ryan, Aidan, Jackson, and Mitchell.
-She loved her animals (dogs) next, (though her daughters might dispute the second ranking for the dogs).
-I was a distant third to our dog, Macy. I was ok with that, even grateful to get that ranking.
-Of course, working with her clients was a singular passion, and it gave her a sense of satisfaction, humility, and purpose.
-Jackie had an incredible sense of adventure while traveling. She sailed in the Caribbean. We hiked remote and challenging places in Hawaii, eg., hiking muddy, cliff hugging trails to the back of Waimea valley, hiking across volcano calderas, and hiking up to streams of flowing lava. She led me to climb down 25’ metal ladders to find good snorkeling at South Point, before launching on a two hour hike to a green sand beach. We lugged backpacks across Scotland and Wales, Italy twice, walked through French castles and toured Spain’s Barcelona. We stayed in B&Bs, castles, a Catholic boarding house with a truly frightening nun at the front desk, and a Tuscan farmhouse. She looked sexy, strong, and beautiful doing it all.
-She loved a wide range of music from Motown to Lyle Lovett. Music was a place to explore, to bond with others, and especially to DANCE!!
-She was a film buff. A good weekend day was going to L.A. to eat two meals at the Apple Pan and see three films. There were years when we saw 100+ films a year.

-Not only did she love to see and hear art, she was a practitioner; a fiber artist and weaver who made gorgeous tactile clothing, and beautiful, unique baskets (some were published in an art book).. -Jackie had a strong sense of spirituality, most closely aligned with the Lakota Native American spirituality. We participated in Sweat Lodges led by Simone (our friend and spiritual teacher) with her husband Don. We had the extraordinary privilege to be invited by Don and Simone to support them when they danced all day, for four solid prayerful days, at the Lakota Sundance Ceremony on the Lakota reservation in South Dakota.

In 2006, Jackie’s back started to cause her pain. She spent years exploring alternative medicine, including yoga. When none of those helped, she had her first back surgery in 2010 (single fusion), followed by three more. The surgeries did not alleviate the pain, and, in fact, caused more damage, including a fractured pelvis, and a diminished body awareness. Those injuries, coupled with too much medication, probably caused a pattern of falls that gave her multiple concussions and a broken femur. The level of opiates required to keep the back and surgery pain manageable kept her from being clear of mind for years. In 2016, she started experiencing tremors, which required different medications, causing less clarity of mind. Six of the last eight years were her hardest years, physically and mentally. She went through anger, confusion, hopelessness, fearing the loss of her ability to be a therapist, her driving, and then slowly her ability to care for herself, or even to walk. In the last year or so, though still over medicated and less able to care for herself, she was far less distressed.

Finally, in February of 2022, her medications were lowered, and she “woke” up. Her cognition got much clearer, and her back pain was mostly gone. She became the star patient of her caregivers, P.T. 's and O.T.’s., with the ambition of getting strong enough to walk again.

In May, I took her to the Mission Hospital ER, initially due to afib and a racing heart. It turned out that she also had pneumonia, MRSA, and a blood infection. For 10 weeks, she would alternatively improve and be transferred to a Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) for rehab, then go back to the hospital with complications, then back again to the SNF. Finally, she had to be transferred back to the hospital again, this time to Laguna Mission Hospital where her difficulties were diagnosed as kidney failure. There was nothing left to do but bring her home, and receive the help of hospice. That was Wednesday, July 27.

At that point Jackie’s daughter, Suzanne, had driven out with her son Jackson from CO, while Jackie was still in the hospital. She was able to help with organizing her easy transition home. Her daughter, Gigi, flew in from Hawaii the evening Jackie came home. A day and a half later on Friday, Gigi’s husband Rohn, and son, Aidan, also flew in from Hawaii. Having family there would have been Jackie’s greatest wish. Hospice was wonderful, helping us navigate the care skills and confidence we needed to keep Jackie comfortable in a sweet and intimate way.

Jackie was mostly unresponsive by Saturday morning, but seemed to be orchestrating other gifts in time and space……., Jackson and I went swimming in the ocean, and a pod of dolphins with their two babies swam next to us, and then swam away. Surprisingly, they turned around and swam back up and around us. This repeated two more times! Also, Jackie loved the rain, the sound, the smell. On her last day, Sunday, it was cloudy and cool for the first time in weeks. The hospice nurse came and advised us to turn off the loud generators that were giving Jackie O2. She wanted to calm the room for Jackie. Just then it started to pour outside, loud enough so we could all hear it; the rain and the peace.

At 4pm, our friend, Simone, gave a blessing for Jackie over speaker phone. We had smudged ourselves and Jackie in preparation. Thirty minutes later, Suzanne noticed Jackie’s breathing had changed. We all came in to be with her, holding her hands and sending her love. She took her last breath five minutes later, calmly and peacefully, surrounded by family.

Jackie’s greatest gift, in the end, was being generous with her time. She gave friends and family who could come to the hospital or the SNF a chance to visit her when she was clear, bright, and engaging. She held on at home long enough to let friends and family say goodby one last time, and share the experience of her dying with her daughters and family.

Jackie was giving, loving, funny, and passionate. She was a lifelong scholar in becoming a better human being, creating community, and helping others. Jackie had a good life, and was able to pass peacefully. Some commented that she died too early, or that she was too young. Though we all would have liked more time with Jackie, she lived and died exactly right for her.

May she be in peace, without bodily encumbrances, and feel satisfied with her life. May she be enjoying the company of her departed loved ones, most especially her dogs.